|always been curious about these map things:|
recently, two pretty horrific groups have tried to affiliate with groups that i'm an admin of: both focused on fetishising murder, and were as unpleasant as you would imagine: one fixated on decapitating women, the other on cannibalism. setting aside the fact that they are probably breaking UK law, i found myself just plain angry that they would try to associate innocent kink with violence and death.
this got me thinking about how odd it is that we use the phrases "the sexualisation of violence" or "the fetishisation of violence". hang on a minute - isn't this completely the wrong way round? it makes it sound as if plain old violence and death are just fine and the problem is sexuality. that makes no sense - last time i checked, sex, sexuality, and sensuality are legal, positive things: no-one is going to arrest you for being married. violence and murder, on the other hand, are things we generally agree are pretty bad: strangely enough, they are illegal, negative, tragic things, and if you killed someone you would expect to be heading for prison shortly afterwards. so how come when the two are associated, it is sexuality that gets the blame?
i try to stick by the concept of "don't yuck others' yums" - knowing that just as some people's kinks repel me, my love of light bondage would equally repel others, but this is something i just can't morally tolerate. the community - call it bdsm, did, fetish, kink, whatever you like - thrives in the real world because of mutual respect by couples and adherence to concepts like safe, sane, and consensual and risk-aware-consensual-kink. murder is the opposite of all of that, and everything that makes kinky relationships safe and normal. worse, any attempt to associate fantasy violence with relationship kinks tars consensual happy couples with the same 'dangerous, illegal, unpleasant' brush as this snuff.
so let's get this straightened out. it's not the "sexualisation of violence" that is the problem: it is the violencification of sexuality!